CAN YOU BREAK MY LEGS TONIGHT?
Potential warning for, I guess, gay shit, and freak! These are just pathetic fantasies of a boy who's really, too dead to love.
I don't really have a preference for people, outside of being T4T, I don't really experience attraction much anyway. I wouldn't mind being with a boy, or with a girl, or with anyone else under the umbrella.
Though, that has little to no relation to the bullshit I'll be writing here. Good evening, Radiant Sun, how about a sprinkle of neediness and kink in your confession booth?
... You don't even have one, what am I talking about.
Regardless, the thought of being collared and pulled around with a leash has consumed me a few times. I wouldn't mind being in one, really, in fact I'd be ecstatic if it had some sort of charm to display who I belong to, maybe with a pretty bell. I don't know, maybe I'm not pretty enough for a pretty collar.
I want to be on my knees for my lover, looking up at them, so absolutely smitten. I sound so helpless, Stars, I want someone to hold my chin and bring me close to their face and kiss me. Stars, I want my lover to spit in my mouth.
I want to just be wearing comfy shirts — preferably zip-up hoodies or hoodies of any kind! — and boxers. Stars, I want my lover to unzip my hoodie and slip it off my shoulders, Stars, I want to be marked up in pretty hickeys and bruises. Stars, I want to be so obviously owned.
To have hickeys and bruises on my body, my neck, my collarbones — Stars, knowing they're from my lover. Stars, I'm so smitten. I want to be a Knight in shining armour but as soon as I'm charmed the slightest bit I'm simply nothing but mush! A fellow Knight told me they can't just continue operating in such conditions, Stars, why do I feel this way?
I am so wanting of my lovers attention, but, Stars, I can't simply ask it from them! but the things I do are even more embarrassing than simply asking. Stars, I really want this head of mine to be taken care of (＠///＠;)
I want to be marked up, I want go be pinned down, I want to be underneath them, I want to be placed so nicely on their lap. Placed so nicely on my lovers lap, Stars, I wish I was more normal. I want to be held, I want arms wrapped around my waist, my hips — Stars, anywhere — I'd even take a hand around my throat or fingers inside my mouth.
The title of this entry is a song lyric, listening to it makes me blush, yet dreadful. I don't like thinking too deep into it, that's poor phrasing. I don't know how to say it.
I like having shirts that are oversized on me, or ones that I can slide off my shoulders. I especially like it when I get to wear my hoodie with them, makes me feel, just a little more pathetic.
The usage of lover here does not mean anything, I am not one with a lover. I am not one of love either, though, I doubt I'm real in any way at this point.
I want to be a tall, cool, somewhat pathetic boy but I also want to turn into nothing but mush when I am charmed even the slightest bit — funnily enough, how I characterise my favourite character in an au I made — I really want to be collared, really want to be marked up. Stars, This is a silly entry.
Goodnight.